Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Yes, it does do telly, weary Sony tells UK

ELECTRONICS giant Sony has grudgingly responded to the British public's single question about its sophisticated new tablet computer.

Sony's highly advanced new S1 machine uses Google's Android 3.0 operating system alongside impressive technical specifications including state-of-the-art core technology that allows it to decode 1080p h264 content.

But the corporation held a special UK press conference last night to confirm the only attribute of the device that really matters to the British people.

A spokesman said: “In response to the thousands of emails, letters and burger wrappers with crayon writing on them that we have received from the United Kingdom, I am forced to confirm that this cutting-edge machine, which was years in development with some of the finest minds our industry has ever seen, does do telly.

"For clarity's sake, this includes the dancing. And the skating.

"And, yes, also the boobies.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I just have to go and kill myself.”

British citizen Tom Logan said: “I think he say it do telly. But me not sure. He say other long words too, make head hurt.

"Do not get me wrong. Me want thing. It shiny. But what if me buy then it no do telly?

"Then me angry, smash shop with stick.”

UK-based technology journalist Emma Bradford said: “It's terribly depressing that whenever a potentially revolutionary piece of technology hits the market, we as a nation simply grunt, 'do it do telly'?

"The question we should be asking is 'do it do telly better than other thing?'.

posted by Mobiletone and the ever sexy FuzzBox from a vast floating bastard huge boat off the coast of Cuba having fleeced $2 from every PSN account and channelled it into an offshore bank account. Codename: Rebug has turned out to be an absolute success netting around £100,000,000 UKP. I love it when a plan comes together. ;)


  1. bloody pads - don't replace phones or laptops, so meaningless to me. You nailed it actually tone, shiny, does telly - that's what it's for.

    PSN outage got the BBC News treatment tonight, they chose to report 'not ruled out credit card details' rather than state the actual message of cc number and expiry - which as I understand aren't much use without a CVC number? Am I wrong?

  2. i use a debit visa and need to input additional password and pin combinations if i try to use the thing online. probably at more risk from having your card cloned at the local petrol station to be honest. plus dont Sony need to have that data encrypted?

    drove a real car today, well, astra van, for the first time in 8 years. felt like i'd never not driven.

    if you're wondering what the new girl flesh looks like :) 34, size 8, 5ft 2 and mad as a sack of squirrels.

  3. cute! But what's with the knife?!?!

  4. you should see her archery kit! deadly.