Wednesday, 29 September 2010

Midnight Games Release

On The Leaked Internet Porn List?

AS the names of alleged pornography file sharers were leaked online, men have united to confess that every last one of them looks at dirty stuff on their computers.

How dare you judge him
Men of all ages and backgrounds took the bold step to thwart any potential exploitation had the proof that they look at undressed women engaged in all manner of hot, wet jiggery-pokery fallen into the wrong hands.

Reverend Tom Logan, delegated to speak for all men, said: "Henceforth, it shall be known that every single one of us with broadband, a monitor facing away from the door and 15 seconds of alone time has made the conscious decision to view bad, crazy things.

"Try not to despise us. We are but pathetic slaves to our private parts and putting us in front of a box that conjures up tits and fannies is the same as putting a labrador in front of a pile of sheep droppings."

Addressing the wives and girlfriends of the world, he added: "You can at least console yourselves that most of us have the integrity not to buy Nuts, FHM or any similar publication that dilutes the sexual objectification of women with asinine Jimmy Carr interviews and pictures of people who've just cut their thumbs off.

"We are, if nothing else, men of principle."

Last night women were responding to the statement with a mixture of weariness and incredulity.

Teacher, Emma Bradford, said: "I've looked at my boyfriend's internet history enough times to know that X-hamster isn't a website about recently deceased pets. Then again, perhaps it is..."

She added: "But I can't believe that my lovely cousin Roy, who works with sick animals and is unfailingly polite, would ever want to watch Tera Patrick on the receiving end of - and I believe this is the technical term - 'a relentless pounding'."

Roy Hobbs insisted: "I do and I have. A lot. But do not hate me, even though I have failed you.

"We men are like Frankenstein's monster, flawed in conception and doomed to corrupt all that is beautiful.

"A bit like the last half hour of Spunk Buckets 14."

Saturday, 25 September 2010

*cue evil laughter and lightning*


because nothing says hardcore like a 2.1 Billion Hp shield ;D

Thursday, 23 September 2010

U3S verdict on Little Big Planet 2 Beta

I'll keep this brief as you can read plenty on LBP2 Beta all over the Interweb, but as you know here is the place for warts and all verdicts...

Story Mode: they gave us a couple of proper levels and a challenge, some new play mechanics which were great fun, the level design was top class and left me wanting MUCH MUCH more.

Front End: there were some blocked off areas and silly bugs in the navigation, a new skinny font on loading pages and such which didn't look right at first -but who cares and once finished will no doubt look stunning.

Backward Compatibility: I didn't expect this: your whole LBP 1 profile, sackpeople, stickers, objects, materials, pod, levels - EVERYTHING - is carried over. From the forums some people had minor compatibility issues, this was something the beta was there to test, but it was for most a completely painless and impressive achievement.

Level Design: I've not done much with LBP 1 level design (I made a car and a weird caveman thing which didn't work) but this was expanded in a mind boggling way. Just loads of new mechanics, which is clearly what fans of this stuff want. I had a quick look and will be going in again.

User Levels: now the Beta has been with people for a couple of weeks, some impressive levels have been posted, including an FPS or two and scrolling shooters. Given that levels won't be carried over to the live game in all probability, people have put a lot of time in and may well need to repeat efforts. Good on em!

Overall: Even at this early stage it's clear this is no lazy update - if you loved LBP1, you'll love LBP2 and feel just as impressed all over again.

Friday, 17 September 2010

Resident Evil 5 with Move - FAIL

So, after being largely indifferent to Move, I just got back my lend out of Resident Evil 5, and thought I'd look at buying Move to play through the DLC I picked up too and haven't had a chance to rock....

I need to buy the Gold Edition, the Move update is not available for older editions. This is SHOCKING as the total purchase I've racked up, plus the minimum Move purchase required would add up to the following, best prices more or less on the new stuff:

Resident Evil 5 Limited Edition: £49.99
DLC - Lost in Nightmares & Desperate Escape £10,49
Move Starter Pack: £40
Resident Evil 5 Gold Edition: £15

Total: £115.48

Gutted! No way I'm buying this twice!

OK, admission: first time round it was a present, so I didn't actually buy it - but I've completed it once and I'm not going in another £55 for round 2.

Many RE5 owners will be in exactly this position - it's not right.


First Unofficial Racing Challenge?

Anyone interested in an Unofficial Racing blog to go along with the release of Gran Turismo 5 in a few weeks time? damn, it's so close i can almost taste the damp car smell and Easy Start.. I was thinking that i create a blog and post various fun challenges and races for us to compete in and we can post videos of our times up etc. I used to do this with Tourist Trophy back in the days before online multiplayer and it was always a laugh, think of it as a Power Laps board but embracing our funky PS3 powerhouse technology.

The challenges would be posted usually on a Sunday lunch time and the participants had the following week to aquire the necessary vehicle and get their times and videos posted before the following Sunday. As we now have the advantage of online multiplayer private racing we can meet up for head to head challenges  and also be such an event for us to show off our rides and battle against each other, or just generally goof around in on carts or such like. We could also have a featured car of the moment space too.

Anyway, just like throwing this idea out there for you guys, your input would be appreciated.

Thursday, 16 September 2010

Halo: Reach - Initial Impressions

I found myself buying Halo: Reach on Tuesday. Thanks in part to a £20 HMV voucher (+ 800 MS points free) and a desire to see what all the fuss was about.

I've never really been a fan of Halo. I did get about half way through the first game on PC and played a tiny amount of Halo 3, but the series, especially the multiplayer, never really grabbed me like KZ2 or the Modern Warfare games did.

So, for £19.99 I thought it was worth a punt and so far I have been pleasantly surprised. Here's what I think so far

Main Campaign
Currently on mission 3 playing through on Heroic difficulty. The campaign is pretty decent so far - some nice open environments punctuated with action 'bottle necks'. I'd heard that the AI was meant to be good, and whilst this is true of some of the more powerful enemies (the guys with the laser swords are complete bitches) your squad AI isn't quite as impressive.

One of them did manage to drive a jeep without crashing into too much scenery while I manned the cannon, but they are prone to glitching into the environments or standing in some random spot whilst you try to take down 7 waves of enemies on your own.

The main feature I've yet to try out in campaign is co-op. Up to four players can take control of Noble Squad (with scaling difficulty apparently) and blast through the game.

Controls are fairly standard, though I do miss the option of aiming down the sights and cooking grenades. Some guns let you zoom in (like the default magnum pistol), but others don't - clicking on the zoom button brings up a 'binoculars' view.

There are a few issues - some of the cutscenes suffer from slowdown and whilst the particle effects are nice, some of the environments can look bland. Everything has been running smoothly in gameplay moments though.

As I've not played through any full Halo campaign before, my knowledge of what's been done in previous games is fairly limited. Whilst it isn't groundbreaking, it has been a polished, enjoyable romp so far. What I've really taken a punt on this for is...

So far I've been really impressed with the multiplayer. I'd wager that Bungie actually spent a lot more time on this than the singleplayer campaign.

If you're a fan of customisation and options then this is probably the most well developed console FPS you'll play. I'm nowhere near getting my head around it all, but there seems to be a game type for everyone.

I’ve been online with some of the guys from the Edge forum, and so far I've played straight-up team deathmatch (called Slayer in Halo), a 'first to XX kills' team game (SWOT), Capture the Flag (on a custom made map), a Counter Strike-style bomb planting game (always a great mode) and Invasion, which I’d describe as similar to Battlefield BC2, whereby you must capture/defend certain points of the map, steal an item from the enemies base, blow a certain structure up etc…and the map expands as you take more objectives.

The controls feel less ‘floaty’ than I remember form Halo 3, so you have a bit more heft to your movement. Not KZ2 levels, but enough to give you adequate feedback and help you navigate round the levels. Speaking of which, I can’t really comment on the levels yet as I’ve not played them enough, but Cage is really fun and suits smaller Slayer matches.

I should also quickly mention Forgeworld, which is basically a level editor/creator (hoping to get my hands dirty with this soon) & Firefight. FF is a mode I’d never played before, as it was included with ODST. It is great fun though – trying to battle through hordes of enemies in a survival type game. Pairing this mode with jetpacks and infinite rockets had me chuckling – I hope the jetpacks in KZ3 are this much fun.

There’s also Halo Waypoint, which manages to outdo even the great community features of KZ2. As well as tracking your/your friends stats you can unlock avatar/ingame goodies, upload and share videos and screenshots, watch replays of recent matches etc…it’s really well thought out.

That’s not even scratching the surface really, but as you can see, Bungie have basically taken all the best modes from the past 15 years of FPSs and given you the option to play them as you see fit.

I’m really excited about getting more involved in the multiplayer (probably at the expense of playing through the singleplayer) and having a go at creating a map in Forgeworld – I’ve set my sights on a ‘racing mode’ and recreating Bowser’s Castle from Mario Kart or a track from F-Zero!!

In summary I’d say don’t listen to the hype of fanboi nonsense. If you are curious about Reach (like I was) and you can find it at a suitable price, give it a go. You'll find me online taking on that most important of roles for my team - Bullet Sponge!!


3D Ridge Racer 7 Update

Namco Bandai announced today a Ridge Racer 7 update that will up the game's visuals to 3D. The update, called "3D License Ver.," will be available on PSN on October 1 for ¥500.

Attendees at the Tokyo Game Show can sample the update in advance.

Wednesday, 15 September 2010

Pain and Peggle, Peggle and Pain

Pain and Peggle both cheap in the store this week, if you ain't got em get em...

Peggle is a top party game even in single player, fighting over the controller stylee.

Pain is.... unique. Perfect for sniggering at mindless cruelty. Yay!

I'm glad I picked up Worms 2 Armageddon last week, network multiplayer is fixed - should have been patched in the last Worms really, but I'm forgiving them now I've got my grenades on. Campaign mode is easy from 1 to 30, then the tough 31 to 35 are much more fun. Just 34 to go and I've been soooo close....

Monday, 13 September 2010

Seth Green on Dragon Quest IX

what have you been playing lately? i've done my first 6 or so hours in DQIX and am really enjoying it, it looks great, the controls are dead easy with a nice item management system, random encounters are avoidable or not depending how you roll and the character customising works well. Story looks like it could be good, spent an hour or so playing then 'the event' happened and the titles started to roll, typical Square Enix i guess ~:)

Monday, 6 September 2010

Your One Stop Flash Shop

Don't like buying your Flash Cards etc from Johnny Foreigner? Well, we now have a solution for you, located on a floating disused coldwar nuclear submarine parked just off the south coast of the UK and posted through the sympathetic island of Guernsey distributers (Royal Mail Registered Post)

Items are dispatched usually on a next day basis. happy shopping.

Thursday, 2 September 2010

Nintendo DS And Ubuntu

my nintendo DS with Ubuntu :)

I can't help myself somedays... my custom designed theme, running firmware 1.18 and moon 2.0. R4DS.lite