Monday, 18 January 2010

Mad Moxxi's Underpants Riot

 "The Horde is gonna eatcha, Om nom nom nom!" This was the moment i fell in love with Moxxi, i was crouched behind some sandbags in the Crimsom Lance's fortified area of the arena and Moxxi was twirling and dancing around on top of the dome whipping the crowd into a frenzy, a cross between a Suicide Girl and a circus ringleader she is both funny, sexy and one sandwich short of a picnic, i mean who else actually talks in 'lol speak'?.. Pew Pew Pew! My mind wandered back to when i was a hot ginger lv50 Siren with the world of Pandora at my and my Hunter co-op partners feet, nothing we had fought or encountered on this desolate shithole of a planet had prepared us for the world of The Underdome! not even the Zombie Island, that was a picnic compared to the mess we had now found ourselves in.

The DLC for MMUR is a whole new area that you fast travel to from the main game.You end up in this interesting Cabaret Club lobby which has a few vending machines selling weapons, first aid and ammo, just what your hot narrator likes to find in any good club, and just like the rest of this twisted planet it runs on the random engine,nothing major but little things change everytime you visit. There is also a small stage area for the performer in you, or to brief your fellow co-op buddies from. From this club you gain entrance to each of the arenas. Hell-Burbia, Angelic Ruins and The Gully. The other interesting fact about this strange club is that Marcus, your friendly weapons dealer, has opened a bank here which is staffed by a mostly friendly little robot who will quite happily look after your spare weapons for you, you can even upgrade the account to stash more gear, and i can tell you, there's nothing worse than having to toss a weapon worth good money away because you've run out of Storage Deck spaces or your co-op partner refuses point blank to take any more of your crap. Thank you Marcus.

Like i said, nothing prepares you for the Arenas, there are only two ways out once you decide to enter one, your either beat all Moxxi throws at you or you're going out in a wooden box! There is no saving your progress, quiting out or generally being a total wuss. Each arena throws the challenges at you in the form of five rounds of five waves each, each round can have rule modifiers too just to liven it up more such as SMGs only do damage, no shields, enemies recharge health, the others 'well you may as well not bother wasting your ammo' as Moxxi would say. in the later rounds more rules start to apply and you had better know what they are or you're your gonna be in a world of bitey toxic covered pain. The others you fight against too don't do anything as handy as drop ammo or weapons when they die either, these you must scramble from under the dome at the end of each round and you only have a very few precious seconds to do it in.

It is anything but easy being an arena fighter, as your poor ginger friend knows much to her pain and anguish, this dlc will have you laughing, swearing and bouncing your joypad off a hard surface as you get nailed by a genade spamming boss, or a cheap 500hp damage combat rifle round from across the other side of the area. again. like i say, you can't quit, if you do all progress will be lost, 5x5 rounds took me just over two and a half hours, and that's just one arena, finish all three arenas and you unlock the 'longer' challenges, i have no clue how bad they will be to live through. The bosses and enemies in each round are random as are the wepons drops, if you die in co-op you go to the sin bin, if your partners die you don't drop back to start the round again, you get kicked to the previous round! Moxxi is a hard task master and it just makes you want to beat her arenas all the more.

That is what paid for DLC should be like, Zombie Island gave you a good 8-10hrs of new game play, i've played full price games shorter than that!! Modern Warfare 2 i'm looking at you! Moxxi i guess is gonna be a good 15-20hrs to complete, i don't know of anyone who has actually managed it yet though, it's tough, you want to win Moxxi over you have prove yourself to her. This weekend is gonna be a LAN co-op vs Moxxi's Arenas, it won't be pretty.



  1. thur Horde is gonna eatcha, Om nom nom nom!" This woos thur momen' oi fal in love with Moxxi, oi woos crouched ahoind some sandbags in thur Crimsom Lance's fortified area f thur arena and Moxxi woos twirlin' and dancin' around on top f thur dome whippin' thur scrouge into a frenzy, a cross atwin a Soocide mawther and a circus ringleader she is both funny, sexy and one sandwich haardy-daardy f a picnic, oi stinjy who alss actuallie talks in 'lol speak'?.. Pew Pew Pew! moi mind wandered back to when oi woos a ho' ginger lv50 Siren with thur world f Pandora a' moi and moi Hunter co-op partners fi'en , naathin we had fough' do encountered on this desolate shithole f a plane' had prepared us for thur world f thur Underdome! no' even thur Zombie Island, tha woos a picnic compared to thur mess we had now found ooorselves in.

  2. So THIS is the famous Moxxi then!?!? I was expecting Jessica-Rabbit with a gun!

  3. Jessica Rabbit is a cheap harlot, Moxxi will have you begging just before she shoots you in the face, and you'll still love her for it :)

    that DLC should be labled for hardcore gamers only. no matter what character and level you use to play it, the game re-adjusts itself accordingly, then kicks your arse. but i have developed a cunning plan, i hope it tricks Moxxi and her Underdome Arenas, i'll find out this weekend.

    Moxxi.. i'm coming for your head!